This is our second post in the series Homeschooling. These posts are not aimed at convincing anyone to do anything, it’s aimed at parents, asking themselves these questions, who are interested to know the opinions of other homeschooling moms on the given subject. Today we look at the most dreaded question to homeschoolers ever… “So what about socialization?” I don’t think there’s a homeschooler that haven’t been asked this question or haven’t asked it themselves at some stage, so lets look at what our guest of this week, Ronel Goncalves has to say about it.

About Ronel

I am a mommy of the two most important humans in my life and a blessed wife to an incredible man. My life purpose is to be a wife and mommy and my calling is to homeschool my children. I love what I do even if some days I wonder what am I doing or if it is enough?  I was a teacher for eight years, then my baby boy David was born and I wanted to be a stay at home mommy and never looked back.

When Amy was three and David was heading to Grade 0, after two years of researching we decided to finally homeschool and we’re glad we did. I get to watch my children blossom into amazing people right in front of me and we grow everyday together.  We love this road we’re on ♡♡♡♡♡

So what about Socialization?

SOLIALIZATION…. EVERY HOMESCHOOLING MOMS WORST TOPIC!!!!

First of all I would like to share the definitions I got from my children’s dictionary at home…

Socialization: the process by which someone, especially a child, learns to behave in a way that is acceptable in their society

Social : 1. to be with people in your spare time 2. living in groups, not alone

Sociable: sociable are friendly and like to be with other people

The above definitions do not say other children teach children social skills. It takes a village to raise a child and the village people I allow in my children’s lives are raising them to be amazing souls. Society is not only one age or gender group it’s everyone in your community and I want my kids to respect everyone around them .

You know how many times I have looked out the kitchen window to see strange new little people in the garden running around playing? Socializing comes naturally especially to children. My children are usually the first ones to introduce themselves.

It’s the influence these friends may bring to your kids that can be the problem… You see, one of the advantages in homeschooling you get to ‘choose’ or limit negative influences or have more positive influences in your children’s company, from people who have the same values and morals you do.

I don’t see how a class full of 30 plus children teaches my children “good” social skills, especially if it’s not positive influences, their all children and they are all learning. Most children are bullied or lost in the crowd. And you as the parent have the power to “control” their social lives in a way to benefit them, especially in the early stages of growing. My children used to go to crèche in the mornings for a couple of years and they learnt a lot of “skills” that was not acceptable in their society.

I believe that thanks to homeschooling and being at home with my children for the last four years, I have in some way kept their innocence and imagination. And although they do have friends (and these friends are important), friends are the not the most important achievements in their lives.

My kids work well on their own , they have full lives and daily adventures a lot of kids lose out on being at school almost the whole day… and an extra bonus they think Mommy is cool and the smartest person they know. 🙂

My little girl, if you say hello and tell her your name she is your friend (scary when it comes to stranger danger, I know) she is a social butterfly and a bit of a drama queen. My son is shy and you really need to get to his level to understand him but he has a heart of gold… where in the definitions above do my kids seem unsociably? They have their own personality and HOMESCHOOLED OR MAINSTREAMED SOME KIDS ARE JUST MORE SOCAILABLE THAN OTHERS.

My children have a mixed age group of friends from homeschooling to mainstream families. Children jammed in one classroom like sardines is not the way of socializing. But getting along with all kinds of people in different groups is!

They socialize every day.

We have open conversations, my kids are never hiding in their rooms to get away from us, we have a good family bond and relationships… gosh my children can talk nonstop!  I got into trouble a lot in school for chatting… actually I ALWAYS got into trouble for socializing!

My homeschooled kids meet new children at the jungle gym at restaurants and tell wild imaginative stories to their grandparents. They enjoy chatting with the lady who packs our groceries, showing their new games to the man who puts petrol in the car. They happily pick flowers for our neighbour who is in a wheelchair and respect the elderly. These things are all forms of socialization… don’t we all do this in some way or another every day?

I answered a question of a mom the other day who wanted to know about homeschooling on a Mommy page on Facebook, and there was another mom there who was homeschooled and hated it because she had no social life like sports days, outings and so on. She felt she missed out. Fair enough I understand this, but we are in the 21st century and a lot has changed over the years

We have social groups, (see how amazingly that word pops up like that) social gatherings, (there again). None of the homeschooling families I know hide their kids in the basement, and sometimes we home school in our pjs (how awesome is that? Shhh don’t tell!). And we know all about sport days, outings, market days, eisteddfods and much more!

My children also take part in extra murals and a fitness club at our local school where they interact again with adults and other mainstream children. I have another homeschooling mom’s boys come for art lessons and we do weekly play dates. I think it’s fair to say my children have social lives like rock stars, well they think they do anyway. ☆

And just as it is important for our little angels to be social butterflies, so is it important to the moms and dads to get together with a social homeschooling group to share, laugh, cry and just let your hair down. After a year and a half into our homeschooling adventure we have found a homeschooling group that fits not only the children and myself but my hubby also. And goodness is this little group growing in so many ways. Mainstream families are getting a lot smaller these days… We are starting a trend 😉

So what about Socialation you say? We Socialize every day, just like every other family or mainstream child out there. Maybe a little more at times? We’re very busy and we’re good at it!  Just say hello, tell us your name and we’ll welcome you into our hearts. ♡♡♡♡

Thank you for hearing me out!!!

This was the Third post in the series Homeschooling. 

Click here for the first post, titled “Should I, or shouldn’t I homeschool”

Click here for the third post, titled “The Good, the Bad and the Unexplained”

Click here for the fourth post, titled “The Glasses we wear”

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