Kids Say the Darndest Things in English and Afrikaans!

Kids Say the Darndest Things in English and Afrikaans!
Kids Say the Darndest Things in English and Afrikaans!

We all have things we will never forget that our kids had said at some stage… I personally write everything down in my notes and even copy them to a little special book that I will show them when they are older. It’s something you just don’t want to miss as a parent, but as adults we all can appreciate the funny things these little creatures come up with.

I have asked Moms from groups combining around 200 000 members all across South Africa, what were the funniest things their kids said and they did not disappoint! Here are some of my favourites!

(Please note, where names are provided, mommies gave their consent for it to be used!)

Mommy Insaaf Laher tells this hilarious story of her son Qaa’id, “We were on a flight back from Johannesburg and there were ladies in full niqab covering (showing only eyes and covering their nose and mouths) and my son jumps up and looks at me and starts pointing “Mommy, there’s a ninja and there’s a ninja and there’s a ninja!” Another mommy replied that her son did the same and said, “Look mommy! There’s batman! And I’m Spiderman!” (Shooting his spiderweb out of his hand)

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Another embarrassed Mommy says her 4 year old had to say what he would bring to a school picnic and after everyone had a turn and it was his turn to say, he said that he would bring the wine… You and me both baby!

Technology on the other hand seems to influence our kids in some bad ways these days, but when they get all tech savvy at 2 years old it’s too darn cute. A twin mom was reading ‘Snow White’ and while the Evil Queen is looking into the mirror, Twin 1 asks, “Why she watching herself on the TV?” Twin 2 answers, “That’s not TV, that’s FaceTime!” My son at 3 years also had enough of FaceTime with his dad being away a lot and asked me, “Mommy when is my daddy that REALLY talks coming home?”

Mommy Neesha Mobir tells of her 7 year old Krittika that asked “How did you know there was a baby in your stomach, did you google it Mummy?” Because of course you can google anything!!

Mommy Carmen Allred tells her sad yet adorable tech story, “After our doggie died we chose to not bring it up at all as we thought it wouldn’t be something she’d notice, I accidentally called our other dog by our dead dogs name one day and my daughter said, “That’s not Bella mommy, that’s Ruby! Bellas battery’s dead! We have to charge her mommy!”

Ha ha ha I guess our children understand the concept of tablets and devices’ batteries dying at a younger age than they understand the concept of death…

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Taryn van Rensburg tells of her son Connor‘ “We were praying the other night and after we said Amen my 3 year old said, “Mommy please can I have some water,'” so I said no Connor its sleeping time now…He puts his hands together and says, “Jesus please tell mommy I need water!”

A boy named Aiden is also in tune, Mommy Twanette Vorster says after they prayed before bed time her 3 year old looks at his sheep teddy and says, “Don’t cry sheep Jesus is coming soon!”

My daughter at 26 months old was also in tune. She prayed for me to get better and when I said to her that I am very thankful now that I am going to get better, because when we pray to God we must believe, she said to me, “Wait I’m listening, He is speaking…” I was getting really excited about God speaking to her until she said: “Yes He says I can get a treat now.”

When small kids try to say big words, it’s the funniest of all the funnies… a mommy says, “Hubby and I had a lie in one Sunday and we overhead my son (then 7) and daughter (then 8), doing a role play. He was playing daddy and she the mommy. She was having a “conversation” with a friend (teddy bear). My son says to her: “Mommy, mommy, your baby is thirsty”. She then says: “Not now, I’m having a contraction (she meant conversation).”

Big words are difficult to say!

2 Year old Zé has trouble saying pop corn and calls it “c0ck p0rn”  Oh my heart!!! Little Zé is not the only one with a tricky mouth though… Nicolette Tilley says, “My daughter saw a dump truck and shouted out loud, “Mom, look at the dumb f*u*c*k”

Another 3y/o knows how to wrap her Mommy around her little finger… the Mommy says  “After asking me to make her tea for like 10minutes (to get out of me doing her hair) she said the following, “Mommy, do you love me?”
Me, “Yes.”
3y/o, “Good. Then go make me tea.”

When one Mother had a second child, her 3 year old was happy for all of one day. That night he told her to “put it back and get a puppy”. Ha ha ha!

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5 Year old Mickey told her mom that she can’t go to school because school makes her head boring! Well I have to agree with you Mickey, school can take a toll on ones head!! Talking of boring heads… 7 year old Zack‘s mom Anthea Kriel says, “My son is very upset with his “princiBal” (not principal) because he feels it is not normal for him to have to go to school for 5 days and only stay at home for 2days… “Mama that doesn’t even make sense or sound proper does it? When am I supposed to rest?” Ha ha ha I feel you Zackey!!

One of the pregnant moms said, “My daughter asked me “Mommy are you Wet?” ….. actually asking me if my waters broke after driving on a gravel” 

Another one of my favourites is a 3 year old that told her Mommy that she has wobbly boobs like her grandfather 😂

A little 6y/o princess asked her mother who made her pregnant with her, so when she said, “Your dad” (the mother and the girl’s dad had never been together) she said, “You must be kidding me!”

One Mommy tells this funny bedroom story, “My son, 3, was sent by daddy to tell me they are ready to get into the car for our outing, so he walks into the kitchen and proudly announces, “Mummy, daddy is ready for you!!! He is waiting in the room!!!”

Aarifah Kathrada tells of her 2 month old crying and her 2 year old sister hits her Mommy on the head and says “Your child is calling you.”

Sometimes I think kids are wise in their little funny things that they say… like one mother says, “My husband likes to watch news. One day I was preparing my daughter for school. She said to me, mummy don’t you want to watch daddy’s “morning lies?” (Morning Live)”

This Mama couldn’t help laughing at her 2 year old’s innocent misunderstanding of boy and girl parts, he asked his Mommy, “Where’s mommy’s peanuts (penis)?”

My daughter had a ballet concert so she watched the dvd a few times, so when someone saw her in her ballet clothes when we came out of the gate at the ballet school one day and the lady told her that she will see her on TV one day because she might become a ballerina when she grows up, my sweet little Afrikaans daughter said in a fluent American accent, “Oh don’t worry I can see myself on TV every day!”

Kids really do say the darndest things!

 

Afrikaners is Plesierig!

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Ja hier’s ‘n spesiale deeltjie vir ons ook, want ‘n mens kan hierdie dinge net nie oorvertaal nie! ‘n Snaakse ding in Afrikaans is net snaaks as jy dit in Afrikaans vertel… soos toe my seuntjie 3 was en ek hom probeer leer om mooi Mamma te sê, sê ek: “Nie ‘Mamma sal jy dit vir my doen’ nie, dis ‘Mamma sal Mamma dit vir my doen'” en om te beklemtoon, sê ek “Mamma, Mamma, Mamma!” Hy kom toe uit met; “OK… Mamma, Mamma, Mamma sal JY dit vir my doen?” Ai dit is moeilik met al daai Mamma’s!

Hy het ook op daai ouderdom eendag toe ons verby die begraafplaas gery het gekyk na al die blomme en gesê: “Ag kyk, dis hulle eie klein lentedaggie!”

Die snaakste is wanneer ons kindertjies iets probeer sê wat verkeerd uitkom soos ‘n vloekwoord… van die Mammas het uitgekom met hulle kindertjies wat “boggerol toast” ipv “Bovoril toast wil hê, en meer op ‘n erger noot, “poef” wil sê en dan kom dit ‘pOe$” uit, of wanneer die kindjie “o koek” wil sê en dan is dit “o k@k” Ai daardie oomblikke maak dat mens nie weet waar jy jou kop moet wegsteek nie!

Partykeer sê hulle ook goed wat ons nie ‘n idee het waar hulle dit vandaan kry nie, aangesien ons nie sulke taal gebruik in die huis nie, soos die een wat vir haar ma vra vir die boudjiesalf: “Mamma wa my poepolsalf?” My dogtertjie het ook op 3 jaar, toe daar ‘n spoegborrel in haar mond bars gesê; “Mamma daar het ‘n bubble in my mond gepoep.” En sy het ook gesê toe dit bietjie stink in die toilet: “Mamma jy moenie hier inkom nie, my bollies kan praat!”

Ai ek moet darem sê die bewyse is daar ook darem van ‘n beter opvoeding… toe ek eenkeer my seuntjie op 4 vra wat die wysemanne vir Jesus as geskenke gebring het sê hy: “Goud, mirre en wyserook.”

Ek lag my soms op as ek deur die vroë jare van my “snaakse sêgoed-boekie” blaai. So mooi in ouderdomme opgedeel, is die kleintyd se goedjies so oulik. Een keer het my dogtertjie op 26 maande my gesig so tussen haar hande gehou en gesê soos ek altyd vir haar sê, “Ag jy’s oulik” terwyl sy my kop so heen en weer swaai, en dan weer: “Ag jy… oulike wangetjies!”

Ek het daardie tyd ook eenkeer met my selfoon se liggie aan gewerk toe ek hulle met die kombers toegooi, en so met die gooi is die kombers bo oor die foon en my seuntjie trek los: “Agge neeeee, daar gaan die krag alweer af!” Hy het toe ook vir sy Oupa, toe hy al sy tydelike tande uithaal, gevra: “Oupa gaan jy al daai tandjies vir die tandmuis gee?”

Een Mamma vertel weer sy raas met haar kinders en die een kind vra haar toe of sy ‘n stiefma is! Ai, arme stiefma’s, hulle het nie die beste reputasie in Disney flieks nie!

‘n 3 Jarige dogtertjie sê vir haar Mamma, “Mamma jou bene is weer vol dorings. Jy moet dit afsny!” Op daardie ouderdom het my seuntjie weer probeer sê sy bene jeuk en toe sê hy sy bene is vol krappies!

Klein 4 Jarige Rudolf weer by die skool: “Ag nee magtag, ek kan nie langs kinders sit wat nie ore het nie…” My dogtertjie weer op daardie ouderdom wou nie haar jogurt eet nie omdat daar stukkies in is en toe ek haar sê dat sy dit maar so moet eet want hulle kan nie uit gaan nie, sê my seuntjie: “Ja want die stukkies het nie voete nie.”

Sy wysheid het weer uitgekom steeds op 4 toe hy “ienkie pieknie ponkie” doen, maar so ken hy nie die woorde nie en sê sommer: “larra larra lonkie” en aan die einde toe dit nie uitdraai dat dit op hom eindig nie, sê hy sommer “ping!” om seker te maak dit werk reg uit!

‘n 2 Jarige dogtertjie het haar Mamma getroos nadat haar vriendin oorlede is: “Toema mama, jou maatjie is by Liewen Jesun.” Hoe mooi… ek wil Hom sommer ook so begin noem!”

My seuntjie vra eenkeer op 3 jaar vir my of hy Pienk melkies kan kry, toe ek stilbly vra hy ek moet met hom praat en ek terg: “O hallo daar hoe gaan dit met jou?” Hy antwoord: “Nee Mamma, praat Pienk melkies met my!”

My seuntjie het weer, toe ek hom sê dat ek nou lekker ontspan, gesê; “Ja ek ook, my nek raak sommer lekker sagmoedig.” Later daardie selfde jaar het sy sussie, toe sy siek was, gesê sy kan nie naby hom kom nie en hy vra haar toe: “Is jy bang jy laat my in die steek?”

Een Pappa help weer die Mamma skottelgoed was… ek neeem aan hy doen dit nie gereeld nie, want die 3 jarige dogtertjie trek los: “”Oh oh, hier kom moeilikheid!”

‘n Dogtertjie wou baie graag bus ry soos hul huishulp daagliks doen en toe haar ma sê hulle kan dit maar eenkeer doen vra sy heel geïntreseerd; “Mamma gaan ek ook dan bruin word as ek bus ry?”

‘n Ander kindjie wou weet of sy ma sy oë sal uithaal toe hy nie aan die slaap kan raak nie… bietjie steurend, maar ek sien die motief  agter die gedagte 😂

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Ai en ons kindertjies word ook heeltemal te gou groot deesdae, Mamma Cassy Hudek sê haar 6 jarige dogtertje het haar gevra of Justin Bieber rerig erig haar boyfriend kan wees as sy 10 word!

My dogtertjie is een van daardie wat te gou grootword. Op 3 jaar vra my seuntjie eendag vir my wat is ‘n vis. Toe ek hom atwoord is hy nie tevrede nie en sê dat is vis ‘n ding is wat in die water woon. My dogtertjie vra toe vir my wat is ‘n Hanlé (haar naam natuurlik) en ek sé: “‘n Hanlé is ‘n ding wat op die land woon.” maar sy kom uit met: “Nee, ‘n Hanlé is ‘n ding wat in die winkel woon!”

Hoe kosbaar is dit nie? Skryf hierdie kosbare herhinneringe neer Mammas. Op 6 jaar is ons kinders al in ‘n derde van hul tyd in ons huis… ja! Tel in 6’e… 6, 12, 18! Tyd is kosbaar, koester dit!

Lys van snaakse woordjies in my kinders se kindertaal:

  • Noord Pool – Noorf Poel
  • Stiefma – Steef Ma
  • Mannetjie – Mankiekie
  • Komkommer – Om Ommer
  • Swaai – Saawie
  • Kindertjies – Kinkiekies
  • Pappa Bobbejaan – Papajaan
  • Pantoffeltjies – Nagstoffeltjies
  • Marmot – Kamot
  • Pajamas – Kajamas
  • Reukenaar – Neukenaar
  • Renoster – Kenoster
  • Amsterdam – Amstersee
  • Miere- Miervreters
  • Muskiete – Muskieters
  • Vêrkyker – Neem affer
  • Maatband – Skieter

 

Hierdie blad is afhanklik van “shares” op sosiale media om verniet te bly. Wees asb so vriendelik om te deel waar jy kan, dankie!

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About KraftiMama

Spending time with my 5 year old twins is my favorite hobby and that aligns so well with my love for arts and crafts. I also have a group of homeschooling moms and kids that meets at my house every week. Anyone can do it, why not give it a try? Learning has become lots of fun in this house and it has naturally come to a homeschooling environment that I would love to share with you along the way.

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